Jen Grant Comedian

One of my faves in Ottawa, Ontario!

2012-02-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

If you asked me to list my top 5 restaurants, I would put Green Door on that list for sure!
The Green Door Restaurant is a vegetarian restaurant that has NEVER failed to deliver. It is extremely consistent, fresh, satisfying, healthy, organic and local. Oh, and f-in delicious!!! And I'm not saying it's delicious for a vegetarian restaurant or for healthy food. It's just plain, no matter what category you put it in... delicious!

I remember when I started going to the Green Door I would hear people say - "yeah, it's good but expensive". And it's not, really. It's a self serve / buffet type place where you choose what you want, put it on your plate, inevitably overload yourself like a vegetarian pig (I do it everytime) and then are shocked when the cashier weighs it and it's $16.00. But, honestly, even if it is $16.00, so what? You'd go to any corporate chain restaurant and pay $12.00 for a meal and it's processed, manufactured, not organic, not local and it often makes you feel bloated and tired afterward. What's 4 dollars more for wholesome, fresh, healthy, food?

Believe me, I am not a total health nut. I love me some nachos or french fries or wings at a pub now and then but that is what that is. This is what this is. Exceptional in its own way.

My favourite thing to eat at the Green Door is the stir fry. It's tofu, broccoli, carrot, peppers, green onions in a ginger, garlic, tamari sauce. The tofu is cooked perfectly and I've always wondered how they cook it because each cubed piece is cooked evenly all over. I think it must be completely immersed in oil. That's part of the reason it is so good. Fat is tasty!

The marinated mushrooms are my second favourite. My niece Jordan and I agree on that! And she has good taste. Especially for a kid. Again, don't know how they do it but they have these cute, tiny mushrooms that are marinated perfectly to a firm but tender texture with a mild but flavourful marinate.

They have really good beets too. They aren't pickled, they are still firm too and have delicate seasoning and marinate so that the beet is still a beet. I sound like such a health/hippie nerd right now. Don't worry, I am aware of it.

The avocado salad - same thing but it has more of a bold flavour to it - using umeboshi vinegar, which is quite salty but good salty! Don't know how they do it but 99% of the time they have perfectly ripened avocados. I only say 99% because one time out of 50 visits, I got a hard avocado.

Here is a picture of my plate which includes the beets, avo's, mushrooms, stir fry -

A lot of their food is gluten free, vegan, wheat free, nut free, sugar free... Including their dessert.

The Green Door has their own cookbook. I have it and have made the stir fry and the potato kale casserole. LOVE both. GOOD cookbook.

If you're ever in Ottawa, you have to go. I think even the biggest carnivore would enjoy it. You'd probably have to drag them in but once they're in you can stick a spanikopita or a fork full of the lasagna in their mouth. That way, their mouth will be too full to talk.

Check out their website -
http://www.thegreendoor.ca/

nothing to write home about in Calgary...

2012-01-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

So, I had originally wanted to only write food blogs about restaurants I loved but I've heard from a few people that I should write about the mediocre / bad ones too. Their theory is that readers might think I like everything and have no discerning taste. So here goes...
This restaurant is a mediocre one.

I had originally wanted to go to a restaurant called Gratitude Cafe. I had been to Gratitude Cafe once before and it was delicious. It is a vegan/raw restaurant and although the service was NOT good the food was exceptional. I wasn't able to go so I took a risk and went to a restaurant that I had no idea about - "Niko's Bistro". There are some really good reviews on line so to be fair it might have been an off day but I felt that Niko's Bistro was mediocre.

The server was great, the atmosphere was nice and intimate and the chef was very friendly. He asked us how we liked it and I said "good" even though I should've said "nothing to write home about" but I don't like complaining when the food is just... blah. If I find a hair, if it tastes off or if it is really bad I will say something.

I chose to try one of the daily specials - the meat lasagne. It came with a ceasar salad. I rarely eat lasagne and I love a good, homemade ceasar salad. The lasagne was just ok in my opinion. I like my own lasagne or my sister's lasagne way better. There was a weird texture to the meat. Maybe it was pancetta or something but it always disturbs me when I eat a meat dish and it has a weird texture. If I'm eating something vegetarian and I bite into something strange I just think it's dirt or a stem or something but when it meat I don't know what it could be. Ew.

The ceasar salad was not that good either. Sorry but it was really bland.

I had an Italian friend in high school and eating at her house for dinner was AWESOME. My friend's mom would make these amazing meals that I could not replicate if I tried because she, of course, cooks so authentically. That was what I hope for when I go into Italian restaurants but they often never even come close. Maybe it's because when you cook at home for family and friends there is so much love involved and when you cook in a restaurant it is mass produced for strangers.

To be fair, when we got there the server recommended we order the calamari. She said it was the best she's ever had. I wasn't in the mood for calamari. Calamari is the type of thing I have to be in the mood for. My boyfriend ordered the calamari and he loved it. It was fresh, prepared right because it was tender and not at all chewy, tossed in a spicy tomato sauce.

Our other friend ordered canneloni and mannicoti and she seemed to really like it.

Maybe I am just too picky given my teenage years of impeccable, authentic Italian food.

I won't rush back to Niko's Bistro but believe that it, on other occasions has knocked the socks off other patrons. So there you go. A blog about a mediocre EXPERIENCE. I guess I just don't like to hurt anyone's feelings or make an opinion on a whole restaurant based on just one visit. I know I've had at least one show where I didn't shine as a performer but have had thousands of others where I amazing. Wow. That sounded conceited. Just kidding. I'm always amazing.

Kensington Wine Bar in Calgary!

2012-01-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

While visiting Calgary I was able to hang out and bond with a long time very good friend who lives in a really cool neighbourhood of Calgary - Kensington.
She recommended we go to a place called Kensington Wine Bar which is a one minute walk from her house. That's the good thing about living in a cool area - you don't have to go far to go to cool places.
I was starving and really looking forward to this.
Kensington Wine Bar is in a basement and is small and quaint with nice lighting and a delicious smell in the air. We wanted to sit in a cozy area that was clearly better but all the tables were taken (a very good sign for a Tuesday night).
We settled on a table less cute but told the server we would like to move when a table in the cuter area opened up. As it turned out, we didn't care when something came up. The company and food was so good we grew to like our sub par table!
They serve small plates so we ordered about five dishes. We started with -
smoked beef carpaccio, fingerling potatoes, manchego cheese, garlic aioli

Notice there is a fork in the picture! When you're doing a food blog, you've got to get in there quick to take a photo but there was no way I could have been faster. We were hungry so deal with it everybody. The vibe was so good at dinner, I didn't feel right going... - "excuse me everybody - I need to take a picture". I felt like such a nerd. Anyway, this dish was very good. The menu doesn't mention a horseradish cream sauce but I swear it was on there and it was good! I've maybe only ever had carpacio once before. It kind of freaks me out that it's rare. Any kind of meat rare is a bit weird to me but it was very fresh and very good.

Sandra and Liam chose a lentil dip. This is what's cool about other people choosing stuff and sharing - you eat stuff that you wouldn't normally choose. It's like when you get a shirt from someone that you'd normally never pick but you like it and it gets you outside of your comfortable rut of clothing choices. BECAUSE THE LENTIL DIP WAS DELICIOUS. It really was. When I eat vegetarian stuff that is so flavourful and yummy I think - we really don't need to eat meat to have flavour! It was called a "spicy lentil dip" but honestly I didn't find it spicy at all. It was creamy and super tasty. Please order this if you go there!

I can't believe I haven't mentioned the wine this far into the blog. It is a winebar after all...

My bf hasn't been able to drink red wine for the past few years because he gets heartburn. On our first date we drank red wine and I feel like it was entrapment because that was the last time we ever shared a bottle of wine. I accepted him as my boyfriend on false pretenses. We asked the server for a recommendation of a wine that might not give him heartburn and our friends Sandra and Liam were gracious enough to go with us on this. So nice. And low and behold - he didn't get heartburn!!! The wine was so good. Apparently it has something to do with the soil. Chilean soil is dryer and makes the wine more acidic whereas California soil is more moist so it doesn't draw from the minerals as much. Whatever. He can drink red wine again. That's all I care about. Maybe it was all the wine but he was really happy. The wine was called "Cline Mourvedre". I found it in Quebec in a liquor store. Don't know if it's everywhere in Canada or the U.S. but if you get heartburn from red wine you should try this one!!

Red wine is so darn good. I am slowly turning into a wino. It pairs so well with decadent, flavourful food.

Sandra and Liam, right away ordered the cheese fondue. I thought... cheese fondue??? Oh My God. The cheese fondue!!! It was my favourite out of all the plates! I know it wouldn't be right and I would probably feel terrible but I could have eaten a lot of this... creamy cheese on fresh baguette - whoa! Amazing! You can tell by looking at this picture...

We were still hungry and still had wine left from our second bottle of wine. So, what else are ya going to do? Order more cheese of course. Red wine and cheese go together like crying and the Biggest Loser.
We got a cheese plate including blue cheese, a firm goat cheese and a softer french cheese. It was served with three different sauces with it - strawberry compote, spicy pineapple compote and honey. Liam suggested blue cheese with honey and I have to say it was yummy but my favourite was the french cheese with the spicy pineapple compote. You know what's better than cheese? Cheese with compote!

I am not sure if the Kensington Wine Bar uses local ingredients or ethical meat. I didn't see anything on their website about it but I can say that I highly recommend it for it's flavourful menu, it's knowledgeable staff and the company - but my friends aren't always there so I can't guarantee the last part.

Here is their website -
http://www.winebarkensington.com/

Pfanntastic breakfast in Calgary

2012-01-09T18:58:00.001-08:00

Whoa...Someone does not know how to spell fantastic. Yeah, I do. That's the way the restaurant spells it! Cuz they're Dutch. A "Dutch dining treat" to be exact.

I'm in Calgary and like always, on a hunt for a restaurant that is one or all of these things - fresh, unique, tasty, local if possible, organic or close.

I wanted to go to "Diner Deluxe". I've been there before and LOVED it. A really good friend of mine -Allyson Smith, grew up in Calgary and brought me there a couple years ago. I'm telling you - locals are by far, the most reliable way to find out about good places to eat. We were going for breakfast with friends and they had never been to Diner Deluxe but had heard that it was a one to two hours wait on the weekends so we opted to go somewhere else. Two hours waiting list??? I knew it was a good restaurant! I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed that we couldn't go there but they recommended another place to go to that they described as a "pancake place". I was skeptical... I don't even really love pancakes. But I try to roll with things. And I'm glad we did.

When we get there. There is a line up. We sign up for the waiting list and wait for about 15 minutes for our table. It's a good sign when there's a waiting list. I was skeptical until I opened the menu and saw how original it was. The majority of the menu was split up into two categories - sweet and savory. This was not your average pancake place. in fact, here is a quote from their website -

"The owner of Pfanntastic Pannenkoek House, received her initial training at one of these recognized restaurants in the Netherlands, in order to bring it to you, our valued customers. Pfanntastic Pannenkoek House is the only restaurant of its kind in Canada trained in this particular method, which makes them unique."

I hadn't had a coffee yet and was dying for one. Got it. GOOD coffee! A very rare thing in restaurants and it came with a delicious little cookie! I should've taken a picture of it. So good. So cute.

There were many choices and the menu needs a bit of explanation which the waiter did in a very friendly way. The hostess by the way was the friendliest girl I have ever encountered.

I asked the waiter for a recommendation. I went with the one he said was the most popular. It was with bacon, onion, grated potatoes and cheese. I added tomato and an egg to it. The waiter had mentioned that you can request whatever you want even if it's not on the menu. What makes these pancakes so interesting is that all the ingredients are inside the pancake! Cool!

I tried to get my bf to share a savory and share a sweet with me but he was all savory no sweet so he got one with smoked sausage, cheese and bacon (the second most popular on the menu). My pancake was awesome. Served with a side of sour cream. I loved it and it was a huge portion. Took half home and ate the rest reheated in the oven later that night. So good again!

Our friend ordered a chocolate pancake. It looked good too! There's a photo down below.

This Pfanntastic Pannenkoek House would be something I would probably never go into based on what it looks like on the outside and for the inside for that matter. It looks like a place that Gordon Ramsay would go into and tear it all down and redesign. There was a vacuum cleaner in the corner with a few other random things just stored out in the open. Weird. But Gordon would not say a bad thing about the food. The food is fresh, extremely unique (in Canada) and definitely tasty!!!

I was really pleasantly surprised at how good and different this place was.
I would almost say it was PFANNTASTIC!!!
Can't wait to go back.

Vegetarian food in Moncton New Brunswick

2012-01-03T06:17:00.001-08:00

Between my gig in Halifax, NS and St. John's NFLD, I spent a few days in Moncton, NB. Love Moncton. I love the people and the feel of it. There is a quaint-ness, a simplicity, an innocence that makes you feel ok about everything.

This one day in late November I was Christmas shopping and needed some lunch in the midst of it all. What better way to fuel up in a filling yet healthy way than at a vegetarian restaurant? A lot of people think vegetarian food is all rabbit food but I think they're just not informed. Vegetarian cuisine can be hearty and diverse!. Some of my most favourite restaurants are vegetarian. Which brings me to - "Calactus" in Moncton, NB.

I had heard of Calactus by a few people in Moncton but had never been able to make it until now. It has a really nice atmosphere inside. I ordered the veggie burger and it was great! I often choose to have gluten free when I can, especially at a vegetarian type of place because they often have good gluten free options. So, I got the veggie burger on a gluten free wrap which looked a little weird but tasted great. Veggie burgers can be very filling because they often have beans in them so a lighter, gluten free "bun" or wrap in this case is a nice choice.

My burger was served with tasty roasted potatoes and a Caesar salad. Both the potatoes and salad were really fresh and had that made from scratch taste that I appreciate so much.

I look forward to going back to Calactus and trying something different. Maybe next time I will try the veal. Get it? I'll be here all week.

Halifax!

2012-01-02T11:48:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! I really took relaxing to the next level during the holidays. There's relaxing then there's lazyness. So needless to say, I am a little behind in my blogs. My aunt Theresa recently told me I have to blog more. So, being the good niece I am, here I am. Do people dedicate blogs to people? I dedicate this blog to my aunt Theresa. I am sure she is blushing with flattery right now.

So, one of my new year's resolutions is to be more productive. Here we are - Jan.2nd. Can everyone hear my new leaf turning over?

First week of December I was working in Halifax at the Yuk Yuks which is in the Westin Hotel. I really like Halifax and I like working at that location. It's a good hotel, the staff is nice, there is a grocery store, liquor store and lots of shops and restaurants near by.
The best was the Halifax Farmers Market located directly behind the Westin. What a great farmers market!!! Loved it!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's hard to eat good, healthy food on the road. The first night we were there I went to the grocery store and thought I could find something in their prepared foods to eat other than salad. I was wanting a warm meal. The selection was fried, battered and beige. It looked so beige I had to take a picture of it. It's below. I don't think there's anything in nature that is naturally beige. Anyway, I am not so hard core that I can't enjoy a good fried chicken but when everything is - that's gross.

On Saturday, my friend Geoff recommended we go to the farmers market. He took me to get a breakfast wrap. It was very good.
I liked my experience at the market so much that I went back a couple hours later and had a second breakfast. Both times I shared the breakfasts ok. So, stop judging.
The second trip I went to a different place to eat called "Selwood Green Farm". I think it was called that. I actually didn't see a name of a restaurant or anything just saw that the food was from there. We got a kale omelette. DELICIOUS! But what was so impressive was that it is all food supplied from the organic farm that they farmed themselves! Here is a link to check out an article on it -

http://oacc.info/NewspaperArticles/na_selwood_mhs.asp

They don't have a website. I feel they should so they can promote and inform but they're busy creating organic produce. So, I guess they have a good reason. I was so inspired by this farm that I checked out an organization that was linked to them called SOIL. They have an apprenticeship program where you can learn how to farm in exchange for room and board/ food. If I go missing look for me at Selwood Green Farms. I might become like Roseann Barr and turn into a nut farmer.

Below are some pictures in weird order and all is one spot because I am using my new ipad for the first time and the app I am using is weird. I will work out the kinks but for this one blog - this is a description of the photos -
one is obvious - the sign of the farmers market.
one is an arial view of the market.
one is of the kale omelette
another is of the fried beige selection at the prepared food counter of the grocery store.
The last is a picture of the breakfast burrito I had...

Love Halifax. Love Selwood Green Farms. Love Farmers Markets!

you can't beat Vera's meat

2011-12-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

I am not being a perv. That's their motto! It's on their sign! "Vera's Burger Shack"'s motto!

I travel a lot and try to pack a lunch just because airports usually don't have good food and when they do it's 75 bucks for a crouton but I had a connection in Vancouver! Which means good selection of healthy fresh foods! I love Vancouver! Yay! Look it's Vera's Burgers!!!

I used to live in Vancouver a few years ago and LOVED Vera's Burgers. I sometimes feel grossed out eating meat that I am unsure about - ie - treated poorly? Unsure of the ingredients... So, that's one of the reasons I LOVE Vera's so much. They have an organic burger! That's a very rare thing to see in a burger place. Not only is it better for your health to eat organic meat but also better for the environment and the animal itself. It is a few dollars more but let's remember - this cow gave its life so you can enjoy a meal so it's a small price to pay. Ok, off my soap box for now...

I just googled Vera's right before I started writing this blog and stumbled upon an Ottawa location! Exciting! In Bells Corners for those of you who are in Ottawa - you should go and try it!

There are many different concoctions of hamburgers at Vera's meat-wise and toppings-wise. For instance they have a turkey burger or specialty burgers like the bbq burger - provolone, fried onions, bacon, bbq sauce. Mouth watering yet?

I've had the bbq burger before and it's delish! so good! But most of the time I just get an organic burger and choose my own toppings from the extensive selection - such as - guacamole, fried mushrooms or roasted garlic. I don't want to forget Vera's sauce which is a type of yummy garlic mayo they put on for no extra charge. Yes please! Load it up.

They have really good onion rings, french fries and poutine (in case you feel the burger with all that Vera's sauce and bacon is not enough caloric-ally)

Incidentally, the burgers are really filling and big so you can share! You probably won't want to. You'll probably rather eat more than you should and get a stomach ache.

This is a picture of their veggie burger I had. (and by the way - I always forget that I need to take a picture of my food for the blog because I am too excited to eat or am starving and dig right in so this pic is a bit weird because I tried to make it look like I hadn't taken two bites out it already by accident. I'm such a loser.)

This was the first time I've had the veggie burger at Vera's and it was really really good. I didn't miss the meat. So, I guess...... you can't beat Vera's fake meat too!

Pagliacci's! Hey! (Victoria, BC)

2011-11-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

It took me about 10 times to say and remember the name right. Pagliacci's, pagliacci's, pagliacci's!

Once again, was recommended to go to this restaurant by a local. I was working at "Hecklers" in Victoria - excellent comedy club by the way! Russ Kennedy - a funny comic now living in Vancouver - was doing spots all weekend and is also a former resident of Victoria so he knows the city and knows where to eat. He said "if you want to go to one of the best restaurants in Victoria, we should go to Paggliacci's" Ok! Let's go! Any time anyone gives a ringing endorsement like that - I'm in! ... but then he continued "...be prepared for bread overload." Ok, I'm ready.

So, we went for a late lunch and there was a line up. That's a good sign. We got the best table in the house. Tucked in the corner with a view of the restaurant.

Our server was nice but a bit scattered. I am going to be gender ambiguous so that I will still protect this individual's identity. You know when you're served by a server who gives you WAY too much information about his/her life? I actually don't need to know anything really - unless it has to do with you liking the wine I'm asking about. Which brings me to the "TMI" moment. We ask him/her if a certain white wine is dry and he/she tells us he/she doesn't know because he/she quit drinking. Oh boy. Here we go... I am not being insensitive but come on! If you're a vacuum salesman tell me which vacuum sucks the best. - " I don't know, my wife does all the vacuuming while I bring home the bacon." Yeah, well, you're not going to bring much bacon home with a sales strategy like that cave man.

Anyway, so we heard about how the server went to rehab, how he/she was frazzled that day because it was so busy. Come on! I'm about to pick up the tab here for a reasonably expensive lunch with some friends I haven't seen in a long time and your detoxing is cramping my style and doing nothing for my palate.
Even though I was annoyed it did make for an interesting experience. It takes all kinds. I guess if everybody was perfect the world would be a boring place. But still, come on! Am I alone on this people???

Ok, so I order the -

"Last Chicken in Paris" -
Chicken in a Marsala wine and cream sauce, tossed with mixed fettuccine,
red and green peppers, mushrooms, artichoke hearts,
green onions, basil and parmesan cheese.
Brando used extra butter.

It came with a choice of soup, garden salad or Caesar salad. I chose garden because my friend Russ forced me to. And then absolutely insisted I have the parmesan dressing. Ok, ok!!

Then the bread came! Whoa! DELICIOUS!!! This is going to sound strange but the bread was the star of the show. It was very unique. I have never had bread like that. You think ... how could bread be that different? It was like a donut had sex with a baguette and then brought in some herbs and olive oil to join the party.

Then the salad came. The dressing was the second best star of the show - the best supporting actress (I know, corny). Then Russ said - "dip your bread in the dressing". Ok. Whatever.
He was right - whoa!! So good. I could've just ate salad with bread and been really decadently happy.

Oh, no, now I've gotta eat a creamy pasta. Yikes! But I'm tough and I got through it.
The pasta was ok. It was just ok because it was unneccessarily too oily and heavy. I don't understand why chefs make cream sauces with such heavy cream - 35%!!! I've made cream sauces with 10% cream and it turns out really good and you don't feel like you've eaten .. well.. almost 50% fat.
Here is a pic of the pasta -

All in all though, it was really really good. I would definately go back. Thanks for the recommendation Russ!

NOODLE BOX in Vancouver, B.C.

2011-11-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

This was my third time at Noodle Box. When I go to Vancouver there are a few places that I try to go to. One of them is Noodle Box. It's fresh, made to order and includes really high quality produce and proteins.

I forced myself to get something different. I have in the past always gotten spicy peanut stirfry. It's so good. This time I got lettuce wraps which were really good but I have to admit I kinda wished I had gone for the spicy peanut.

The other peeps with me each got spicy peanut. Probably just to rub it in my face. Jerks. Here is a pic of the yummy spicy peanut stirfry -

The Noodle Box has the option of organic free range chicken! That's a great option considering it's kind of a fast food place. There's no table service. You order at the counter and wait about 5-10 minutes for your food. It's worth the wait let me tell you.

I got a diet coke and it came in a GLASS bottle. Old school, good for the environment GLASS bottles. Love that.

The Noodle Box doesn't add MSG to their food AND they offer organic, non GMO tofu and organic/free range chicken. They also select ocean-wise seafoods and avoid farmed salmon!

If you're in Vancouver stop at the Noodle Box for lunch but know that the portions are really really big and could be shared or if you choose to eat all of it then and there, you won't be hungry for dinner. And if you do eat all of it at lunch and you are still hungry at dinner ... I don't want to judge but you might be eating too much. Judgemental!

Here's there website -

http://thenoodlebox.net/kits/

Chipotle in Erie, PA

2011-11-03T10:43:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I worked at a really nice club called "JR's" in Erie, PA. I told my sister I was going and she said "oh, you're going to Erie on Halloween weekend? ... Eerie? on Halloween??? Get it?" Yeah, I get it and I'm going to use it as my opening joke because the people of Erie probably haven't heard anything that clever and original before, right? Wrong. They've totally heard it and were mad that I brought it up. haha. Well, at least I thought I was really funny. The shows went great. I met some AMAZINGLY nice, cool people there. Sooooo nice!

On my way into town I passed by a "Chipotle" Mexican Grill and made a plan then to go there for lunch the next day and write a blog about it. It's an impressive company. I saw the owner of Chipotle on Oprah and was so impressed that he has a fast food chain that is ethical and fresh and healthy.

Here is the sign that is up right when you walk in.

That's what I'm talking about! Wow. It says a lot about where we're at in our society where that's something that is out of the ordinary. Food with integrity. Well, yeah, it should've always been that way. Yeah, but it hasn't.

If any of the other more popular fast food "restaurants" put up a sign describing how they choose their food people would run screaming.

You choose if you want a burrito or a taco or a salad or a bowl - which is like a burrito without the tortilla. Then you choose vegetarian, beef, chicken or pork. I got the beef. The person making my burrito said that the beef is the spiciest. It wasn't very spicy for me but the mass public is sensitive I guess. Wimps!

You get to choose what you want on it, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, rice...
Here's a picture of some of the options -

Here's her putting my burrito together -

I got a little guac with chips on the side.
The guac was good but the chips weren't my favourite. I don't mean to complain because it's a great place but I find that's a common thing that a lot of restaurants screw up. The corn chips. I don't get it.

The burritos are HUGE so I only ate half. Here is a picture -

It was a good, fresh, healthy lunch. I love Mexican food. Love salsa. Love Guac. Love the full flavour of that cuisine!!!

I've already said it twice but I am EXTREMELY IMPRESSED with the way that Chipotle conducts themselves. Way to show the other fast food companies how it can be done!!!

Here is their website
http://www.chipotle.com/en-US/menu/menu.aspx

They have some locations in Canada!

Le Hibou - Wakefield Quebec

2011-10-26T02:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is my third blog from Wakefield Quebec. So? I like it there, ok?
Le Hibou, for those of you who are not cultured like me... means The Owl in french....
(right now I've got a very pretentious smirk on my face)

It's a really cool looking restaurant overlooking the river. So beautiful. I've been to Le Hibou a bunch of times and always love it! In the summer they have a big patio that is arguably the best patio in Wakefield. If there was a competition they'd probably win. That's all I'm saying.

The only "meat" they have on their menu is fish. Which is not meat but I don't know how to phrase it... I feel weird saying the only "protein" they have is fish. Anyway you get it. As a vegetarian lover I don't miss the lack of meat on the menu especially since the food is so good.
My favourite hands down are the nachos. They make their own double smoked salsa! They smoke their own salsa!!! That's so original! I've never heard of that before. The first time I went to Le Hibou I smelt this amazing bbq-y, smokey smell and asked the waiter what that was and they said "oh, that's the nachos". Not what I expected but of course, I ordered them and they were delicious. They serve them with a chipotle lime sour cream. Sadly I don't have a photo because I made myself order something different this time. Here's their website - there's a picture of them on there -

http://www.cafelehibou.com/menu.html

I have a new favourite after going to Le Hibou the other day. Spicy Apricot Shrimp! Well, my second favourite next to the nachos. The sauce on the shrimp is so good. Just the right amount of heat and full of flavour. I even said to the owner, that if they seved it as a dinner with rice and maybe spinach on the side I would order that as my main course. Now I'm revising their menu. Who do I think I am?
Anyway, I shared it with two others (who incidentally said they were too full to have any but still ate some) who loved it too. You know something is good when you're full but you still eat it. Either that or you're a glutton.

Here is a picture -

My companions (mysteriously ambiguous) ordered the fish and chips and a grilled cheese. The fish and chips was really good. Especially the chips. Ah, the french fries are awesome and they serve them with this spicy mayo. French fries are one of my favourite things to eat. It's become popular to serve fries with various mayos and I am on that mayo train. I almost can't eat fries without a dip. They took something already perfect and made it even more decadent. Thanks for the extra calories whoever was in charge of that decision.

The grilled cheese was not your run of the mill. It had thin slices of apple, spinach and onion in there and probably other stuff but I tried to look up the ingredients on their website but they don't have it listed. It's one of the best grilled cheeses I have ever had. Served with fries and that awesome dip!

Don't you love how I eat every body else's food when I go out? Can I try your food please? It's not that I am a pig. I am a blogger. I have to!

Here's a photo of the grilled cheese. This photo will make you want to take a bite out of your computer. or Iphone. Or whatever you're reading this on.

holy ravioli. it's terroni. (Toronto, On)

2011-10-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know that's a ridiculous title for a blog. I told my friend, comedian Peter White I would call it that even though he shook his head and judged me. Take that Peter! In your face!

Terroni is a restaurant on Queen Street West in Toronto. I got introduced to it a long time ago and any time I am in Toronto I try to go there. Sometimes I am too busy or it's too short of a trip to fit it in but not this time. I went with three other comedians and we all loved it. We arrived early. Like, 4:45 early. Only seniors and families with children are out then. Oh, and comedians who have to leave for their show at 6:45 and don't want to be too full while performing... It was really early but a pretty good time to go out for dinner because you never wait for a table and you have the server's full attention because you're his/her only table. It's a good thing we got there that early because by the time we left (6pm) there was a line up that went all the way outside to the sidewalk! That's an indication of a good restaurant. I mean, I love good food but it's hard to wait in line for it. Especially because they don't have a bar to sit at while you wait. You are just standing there kind of awkwardly in the narrow entrance way while the waiter tries to squeeze past you to serve his tables.

Terroni is an Italian restaurant if you couldn't tell from the name. This was my 5th visit or so to Terroni and everytime I go there I have the same thing - Li Pecuri Pizza
Tomato, Mozzarella, Goat Cheese, Sundried Tomatoes, Arugola, Parmigiano Reggiano (16.95)

It's a delicious pizza. I remember the first time I had it, my friend recommended it and I was very skeptical. Arugula? What is that? A type of lettuce? Wait a second. Lettuce on a pizza? Are you sure?
Yes! Arugula on a pizza is so good. It adds a freshness and lightness. Also, it's a thin crust which I love. The tomato sauce they use is homemade and has that authentic Italian taste to it. When things are made from scratch it makes such a difference. The fact that it stands out when restaurants have homemade food is a real indication of how processed and prepared our food is these days and how it's become somewhat acceptable to cut corners. Not at Terroni though! It's not only homemade and fresh but it also has the feel of authenticity. The waiters are -or -look Italian. When I initially called there was a recording and the voice had a thick Italian accent. It's like going to a little mini Italy. I just like that they seem really Italian and I bet you that they order products from Italy. Anyway, it's super Italian guys. I think you get my point.

You might be thinking how does she know what authentic Italian is? Is she Italian with that extremely white skin and red hair? No, but I did have a lot of friends who were Italian growing up. I had dinner over at their houses and the food was unbelievable. It was just simple red sauce and fresh romano cheese that they grated over your dish and meat in the center of the table that was fall off the bone tender.

Anyway, this is turning into a long blog. Can you tell I LOVE Italian food and Italian culture???

I forced myself to try something different.
I had the - Pappardelle alla Iosa 16.95
Sausage, Button & Oyster Mushrooms, Peas, Parmigiano Reggiano, & Extra-Virgin Olive Oil

It was very good. I ate every bite. For my taste I would've liked more moisture to the dish. It was a bit dry for me. And maybe just a bit more of the ingredients. More homemade sausage, more peas (I think there were like 6 peas in the whole thing), more mushrooms. But overall very very good. It's not really that harsh a criticism when you say - "the only problem I had with it is that there wasn't enough of everything". It was so good, I just wanted more. The pasta was cooked perfectly. Oh, and the glass of red wine that the waiter recommended was EXCELLENT. Sorry, I forgot to make note of the name but I can tell you it was a featured wine on their special menu...

Here's a picture of my pasta

My BF had a panini and he loved it. I made him give me a bite. Boys aren't natural sharers. Girls love sharing. It's cliche but true. I gave him a bite of mine. Don't worry. . .
Anyway, this is the panini he had -

Classico 12.95
Prosciutto Pingue, Fresh Tomato, Fior di Latte, Basil, & Arugola

I like prosciutto about 25% of the time that I have it. I think it's the kind of thing that has to be good quality and really fresh. This was definately both because I liked it. It was very good.

Here's a picture of it

Awesome restaurant. A must go if you're in Toronto. And if you like Italian. And if you don't like Italian, whats the matter you? Fungu! (don't know how you spell that)

Look out! It's "The Look Out" (Wakefield, Quebec)

2011-10-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

In Wakefield Quebec there is a little restaurant above the "General Store" called The Lookout.
This is why it's called "The Lookout"...

The view is insane. Breathtaking. Relaxing. Centering.
I would think that's a lot of pressure for the food to be as good as the view. It would be such a shame if you had a view like that and loaded tater tots on the menu. (call back from a previous food blog about Hooters).
Well, let me reassure you, the food is as good! It's fresh, local, homemade and delicious!
I haven't tried everything there but so far my favourite is their breakfast sandwich. They offer a choice of gluten free bread so I go for that. Not that you need to know everything about me but I have a wheat "sensitivity" so I won't die if I eat it but I try to avoid it if possible. Especially when the GF option is not too bad - which is the case at the lookout.
The sandwich has a fried egg, maple sausage and cheese. It's the best breakfast sandy I've ever had. I think it's the sausage. I've never tasted anything quite like it. I like it so much that I asked them where I could buy some for home and they said they make it there! Also, they don't sell it. I was disappointed at first but then thought maybe it's better to have it as a treat when I go there.

Here is a picture of it -

I don't think the picture does the sandwich justice. Maybe part of the reason is because it's gluten free bread. GF bread doesn't have that "fluffy" look. It's gluten free and fluffy free.
Like I said, sometimes I go for regular bread that regular people get to eat. Sigh. So a couple weeks ago I had a BLT on WHITE BREAD. Hmmm hmmm ummmm ummmm ummmm! There's nothing like white bread. What it lacks in nutritional value it makes up for in taste!
Incidentally the Lookout gets their bread from the bakery across the street. I've actually seen the baker walking down the street with loaves of bread to bring to the restaurant and store. This town is ridiculously awesome.

Here is the BLT

Korean food in Moncton New Brunswick???

2011-10-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

Yes! There is authentic Korean food in Moncton. But I dare you to try to find the place. I have no idea how my friends even ever discovered it. It's inside a convenience store behind a beaded doorway beside the chocolate bars and lottery tickets! Here's a picture of the place on the outside.

haha... and even if I did notice that it was a restaurant I would be too scared to try it without someone recommending it. That's for sure. Look at this picture - it's more up close and you can see it just says Korean Cuisine in english, french and korean of course. I don't think it even has a name. Crazy!

But it looks quite nice once you go through those magical beads...

This is what it looks like !!!

Who would ever think it's that cute inside? I would NEVER EVER.
So, our friends were late. It would be tacky to say their names ... Sophie and Laurent. Congrats to them and their new baby!
Anyway, they were running behind so the owner (who also served us) suggested we have a drink while waiting and pretty much told us what we were having. We wanted to have a Korean beer. Because when in Korea, or a convenience store... But he was all out. So he brought us a Korean "sweet juice" (kind of like a fruit punch) and a Molson Canadian. That was the theme of the night - he told us what we were having. I've never had such aggressive yet charming service. I say this about a lot of the great places I eat at but it really was like an event/adventure. A) I've eaten very little to no Korean food and B) there was a ton of character to the place and the owner himself.

He told us we were having pork dumplings share as an appetizer. Haha. And I'm glad he did because they were very tasty.

These are the dumplings...

And then he told us each what we were having for our main course. In fact, one of us ordered one thing and he said no. You will have this instead because it's your first visit and next time you try that. It was so funny. We all laughed really hard. I don't think he really understood why we were laughing. Either it's a cultural thing to be bold like that or that's just his personality. Or maybe Korean food is so unfamiliar to Monctonians that he just decides for you because it's intimidating to try to understand or pronounce "bi bim bap" (which is what I had).Whatever the reason, it was very entertaining.

Here is a picture of him and the meal he not only decided I was having but also poured the sauce on for me, mixed it up and fed me the first bite with chopsticks. I could barely take the bite let alone swallow because I was laughing so hard. We all were.

The food was fresh, satisfying and tasty. But I have to say that the highlight of the night was the owner/server's personality and the weirdness of the location.

DANFORTH PIZZA!!! (Toronto, ON)

2011-10-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

My friends Matt and Chelsea recommended another spot on the Danforth in Toronto. This place is one of the most misleading places. If you walked by it, you would keep walking, based on its sign. Here is a photo of the sign - notice the phone number is unreadable and it looks about a hundred years old. And with no disrespect - the owner of Danforth Pizza himself looks like he's almost as old as the sign.

I really don't mean that comment about his age with any disrespect at all. Just the opposite. I am so impressed that this man, who, is probably in his late 70's runs The Danforth Pizza on his own. The business hours are from 5pm to 9pm and if he's too busy to answer the phone and take any more orders he lets it ring! It goes to show you - make something exceptionally good and you don't need anything fancy, high tech and you can be open only 4 hours a day and not answer the phone if you don't feel like it. My 13 year old niece could learn a bit from this guy about putting her phone down once in a while.

Here's a photo of the guy looking bewildered that I am holding an IPOD Touch in his face. . .

... I don't blame him for giving me this look. It's kind of rude of me to not explain before I took the photo. I hadn't planned on taking so many pictures but he and his place were so fascinating and unique I acted before I thought about it. I explained to him that I took a picture of him and his pizza because I wanted to write about him and his pizza because I had heard such awesome things. He said to me " this is your first time?" and I said "yeah" and he just smiled as if I was about to eat heaven with sauce and pepperoni on it.

Here is what I am talking about when I say he was old school. Here's a pic of his "cash register"!!!

This really felt like I was going back in time. It was amazing food but also an experience. An event. Something to be inspired by.

The pizza itself was hot in the box - right out of the oven. I carried it on my lap while my friend Chelsea drove us back to her house. The smell in the car and the heat on my lap added to the anticipation. It reminded me of being a kid. Maybe that's because there wasn't as much delivery back then. I love the attitude. - You want my food? You come and get it then! You like it so much ya lazy bum? Get off your but and get it. It's the least you can do since I'm making it for you.

The pizza was so fresh. Homemade taste. Not too rich, tomato sauce was light and something he has clearly perfected over the years and the ingredients were not processed. Danforth Pizza and the owner are the real deal. I highly recommend going there for the pizza and for the reminder that maybe sometimes the best way of doing things is the old school simple way that has worked for generations.

AND SOMETIMES THERE'S JUST HOOTER'S. (Hamilton, ON)

2011-10-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

There are times on the road when I am just too tired to bother going to any effort or distance to get something decent to eat. I'm sure even Gordon Ramsay goes to Wendy's once in a while. It's Friday night, in Hamilton, Ontario (an hour outside Toronto) and I'm HUNGRY - haven't eaten since 2pm and it's post-show - about 11pm. The Yuk Yuk's is right next to a HOOTERS. Nothing makes you feel better about your career than playing next to a Hooters. The club and Hooters are also attached to a Howard Johnson Hotel - which incidentally was a gross hotel. The bathtub had cigarette burns in it! How is that even possible? Can you even burn porcelain? You guessed it - it was one of those plastic inserts that you put in. Bleh. Gross. Guess I won't be taking my pre-show bath that I love to do. Even if I had disinfectant to clean it I would not be able to relax thinking about some dude having a smoke while soaking. I picture a guy from the 80's, all decadent, with scotch. Anyway, I know weird imagination.
It was a non-smoking hotel! Non-smoking hotel! That's like saying no pets allowed and there's a big piece of dog poop on the floor.
I am not painting a luxurious picture of the road am I? Well, sometimes it's not the best. That's the truth.
So, I guess it seems fitting to have an 11pm "dinner" at Hooters. Deciding what to have was a process of - "what's the least processed, packaged, gross thing?" And believe it or not, we chose "Loaded Tater Tots". haha. At first we were going to get nachos but the waitress informed us that it's not real cheese on them - that it's cheese sauce. She told us because other people have complained when they got them, expecting real cheese. How dare them expect real cheese. Who are these people? The king and queen of England?
Anyway, the waitress tells me that the cheese sauce goes better with tater tots than the nachos. So that's what we went for. Ridiculous.

Here's a pic of them -

And even though are disgusting, they tasted kinda good. Junk food makers have the taste thing down pat. Don't get me wrong, I don't think they taste good compared to a made from scratch, fresh, non processed meal but there's something about foods like Big Macs, for instance, that can be pretty tasty. Sorry but they are. You feel like you might puke immediately after but it tastes good at the time.

And don't get me started on the waitresses there. Why would you work at Hooters??? Seriously??? I'll stop there. This is a food blog not a dignity blog.

DINOSAUR BBQ IN SYRACUSE, NY

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

The first time I performed at Wiseguys comedy club in Syracuse I, like always, asked around what restaurant I should go to in their city. Of course, I asked locals. That's the only way you're going to find out about the really good restaurants in the city. Word of mouth is the most reliable way to find out about exceptional things period. So, over and over, I kept hearing "Dinosaur BBQ". Incidentally, locals would even recommend Dinosaur BBQ when I asked what I should see or do in general in Syracuse. And as soon as I got to the restaurant I could see why. It has this really great energy. Really fun, busy, successful vibe mixed with that amazing bbq smoky smell.

I really like including restaurants in my blog that are ethical when it comes to meat - ie. local or organic or free range or at least no hormones. I don't know if Dinosaur has such a product but I can vouch for the restaurant in terms of exceptional taste and vibe.

They have many different beers on tap. Many of the beers are local and they have their own brew which I tried. It was good. The lighting in the restaurant and bar is dim even in the daytime. Which I like. It's cozy.

I've been to Dinosaur five times now. EVERYTIME I go to Syracuse I go there. The first time I had the 1/4 rack of ribs which the menu refers to as a "teaser". I don't know who that's a teaser for because I can never finish it. I should mention it comes with a choice of two sides and a piece of corn bread. I got collard greens and fries. Because let's be honest why get a salad? A. it's called DINOSAUR (go big) and B. it's not a salad type of place. If I ordered a salad there I would expect a guy in a cowboy hat to walk by and taunt me for eating "rabbit food".

Going to Dinosaur BBQ is a special treat for Canadians specifically because we don't really have many if at all "BBQ" places. We definately don't have anything quite like Dinosaur that's for sure.

The most recent time I went - Sept. 2011 - I shared a combination plate of chicken, brisket and ribs. It also came with 2 sides. We got their special mac and chesse with brocolli and mushroon in it and collard greens. It was ridiculously good. Always is. Super tender, saucy and fresh.

Here's a pic of our plate -

I can't believe I almost forgot to mention this - as an appetizer we got fried green tomatoes. Fried green tomatoes is something I've NEVER seen on a Canadian menu. They are so good. They're served with a cayenne buttermilk ranch dressing for dipping. It's the kind of restaurant/bar that makes you feel healthy when you're eating FRIED green tomatoes topped with romano CHEESE and dipped in RANCH. It's hard to put into words but I think I'm getting there - Dinosaur BBQ is about decadence. You don't go there and count calories. You have a beer, you eat ribs or other saucy messy things, and maybe you even have key lime pie after when you already feel like you have to unbutton your pants because they're already getting tighter. It's an escape. It's more than delicious food. It's an event. If you don't go to this "honky tonk rib joint" when you're in Syracuse... well, you're a fool. Sorry, it's the BBQ talking.

Here's a pic of the fried green tomatoes -

They have three other locations in New York State. Here is their website. Their website is great and gives you an idea of how cool of a place it is.

http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com/locations/syracuse/

ALLEN'S RESTAURANT ON THE DANFORTH

2011-09-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of moving to Toronto. A couple of my friends who live there were telling me about a restaurant called `Allen`s` on the Danforth. They said it has the best brunch and the best burgers. So, on the Saturday morning, hot on the heels of a really fun night involving many beers - we went.
Like many great restaurants, this one is very unassuming. I would pass by it and never know it`s exceptional. We headed directly for the patio, walking passed the narrow-ish wooden, cozy upscale pub type restaurant. The patio is one of the nicest I`ve seen. Big trees, simple wooden tables, plenty of shade for a whitey like me.
First thing first... Bloody ceasar! I have to say, even though the food was delicious at Allen`s the service was really bad. What is it with bad service when you the customer are really nice. I get it if I as the customer was a real jerk but I am nice and I used to be a waitress so I am overly polite and tip well. I tip well if the service is good. And I am not talking I want a cheesy over the top kissing ass kind of service. I find that annoying actually. But don`t be a bitch. So, it took a LONG time to order drinks which feels even longer when you are thirsty and require that hair of the dog real bad. I got my Ceasar and it was very tasty but lacked lustre. Here`s a pic -

Literally no garnish. At all. No lemon. NO CELERY SALT! What. No celery salt. Seriously. But, it was tasty.

The food... I was really torn between lunch and breakfast but finally in a pinch decided on lunch because my friend Matt said that their burger with bacon and blue cheese was the best he`s ever had. So, I did it. I got the burger with bacon and blue cheese. The other clincher for me was that the menu described that they use local beef that are GRASS FED so I had to have one. How many restaurants do you go to that have grass fed burgers. Incidentally, I went to their website and they have no mention of this exceptional aspect of their restaurant on it. I think it`s outdated. In fact, I questioned if it was the same restaurant when I looked at the website because it does not represent well at all.

So, I got the burger and it was everything Matt said and more! So good! Fresh, bacon cooked perfectly, just the right amount of good blue cheese. The bun was mediocre. The bun is important in the burger and it was just ok. The fries were great. YUM! I highly recommend this place for their food because they go out of their way to ensure they have ethically sound products. I just wish they put as much effort into hiring their servers and garnishing their ceasars.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, WON'T YOU?

2011-08-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

My twitter is @jengrantcomedy and I would love it if you followed me. I love how it's gone from "please be my friend" to "please follow me". Soon it will be "please hide behind my bushes and spy on me"

... but seriously, follow me. On twitter. Not in real life. Cuz then I'd have to get a restraining order, etc, etc and I'm already really busy writing tweets soooo...

SOUPCON IN WAKEFIELD, QUEBEC

2011-07-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

I love good food and I love it when restaurants go that extra mile to ensure freshness, quality and are environmentally friendly/conscious of supporting local farms etc. When I am not on the road I love to visit Wakefield Quebec. It is a hidden little village that is 25 minutes from downtown Ottawa. I grew up in Ottawa and didn't really understand how awesome, peaceful and without sounding corny - magical this place is. As soon as I drive in and see the river I feel like my worries melt away.

One of the things I appreciate most about Wakefield is that it is a small town but is also progressive. You can enjoy a community where you feel safe, friendly people, nature everywhere but also enjoy a fair trade coffee at Molo's or a rice paper salad wrap at Pipolinka Bakery and least but not least - a beef stir fry with black bean sauce (beef sourced locally). Wow. Amazing. Not only can you feel ethically good about what you're eating, it is DELICIOUS.

Ok, I am getting ahead of myself... My mom had already told me that Soupcon was famous for their bloody ceasars. Kind of random for a thai type place but ... ok. I love a good ceasar. My mom would never drink a cocktail with vodka in it. She's no trollop... but I am! So, as we waited for our take out (which incidentally took about 40 minutes but well worth it - especially if you have a yummy ceasar to sip on) I got a ceasar. It came garnished with one chop stick which I thought was a straw at first. Embarrassing. It also came with a sprig of fresh mint - weird choice but worked and a tiny red chili pepper (which I didn't eat because I didn't want my mouth burnt off my face). It was maybe one of the best bloody ceasars I've ever had!! I guess if you're the kind of restaurant that insists on only buying sustainable seafood as well as local fruits and vegetables you can probably assume they're going to make an effort to be awesome overall.

We had singapore noodles with chicken (which they substituted rice noodle vs. egg noodles because of a gluten issue) and beef stirfry with black bean sauce. The stirfry was much better than the singapore noodles but that might have been the substitution that messed up the dish. It might been a lot better with egg noodles. Damn gluten - why do you make some things better? Annoying.

We got a "dinner for two" special that came with a spring roll and soup and was more than enough for THREE people - with some left over. And it was only $45.00 including my stellar ceasar!!

The food was fresh and full of flavour. I've heard from many locals that Soupcon is the BEST restaurant in Wakefield and I think they might be right. I got the feeling that the owners know it too. Their website says they open at 4pm so my mom and I went there to have an early dinner at 4:30pm. The server was a little curt with us and said it opened at 5pm. I told her the website said 4pm and she was like - in a "whatever" tone - well, it's 5pm. OKAY! I guess we'll go walk around for a half hour then miss friendly. So, after 30 minutes of time wasting we went back, ordered and then the server was friendlier - I wonder if it was because her boss was around. Annoying. Anyway, we order, she says it's going to be at least a half hour to prepare. Ok... this food better be good.

You know you have a good restaurant when you are only open Thursday to Monday from 5pm to 9pm and take 40 minutes to prepare a take out order. I actually kinda strangely like that they have this attitude. It goes to show you if you have an exceptional product, people don't mind waiting, attitude and restrictive hours. I think this place might be the Thai Nazi's (see soup nazi on Seinfeld)

FOOD ON THE ROAD BLOG (F-R-O-G) # 3 PIER HOUSE RESTAURANT

2011-06-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

Pier House Restaurant is in Kill Devil Hills - which is in Outer Banks, N.C. The restaurant is RIGHT by the water and there's a lot of pressure to be happy as you walk in and pass under the sign. I liked that sign as a former waitress because it encourages people to have a positive demeanor which trickles down and affects how you treat the waitstaff. Then again how can you not be happy when the view is the beautiful ocean??? And the bloody mary's are delicious?

Our friends Leslie and Ed brought us here for a birthday breakfast (it was Ed's birthday). It was Ed's choice, of course and he chose the Pier House. He said it was nothing fancy but good breakfast. Sounds good to me. The breakfast started off with a round of Bloody Marys. YUM. They were soooo good. The bloody Marys were the highlight for me. The food was great but sometimes it's the thing that you don't expect to even have let alone love that stands out the most. It was so good I got distracted and forgot to take a picture of the full version so this is just a photo of my empty glass. I can tell you it was perfectly spiced and included fresh horseradish. I want one right now just talking about it!!!

I chose to go for a traditional breakfast - eggs over medium, homefries, biscuit, sausage with a side of sausage gravy. Not exactly low calorie but super delish. Let's be honest, put sausage gravy on anything and it's so delish.

They offer a unique service at the Pier House - you pay a fee and you can go out on their pier and fish. If and when you catch a fish, you can bring it into the restaurant and they will cook it for you! How cool is that? I would like to do that next time but I don't want to do the gross fishing parts - like baiting the hook and gutting the fish. I really just want to drink Bloody Marys and look at the ocean. Ahhh. Heaven.

My visit to North Carolina was so much fun. The OBX Comedy Club (located at the Ramada Hotel) was great, I love that a lot of the restaurants use local food - seafood and insist on quality.
Looking forward to coming back next summer OBX!!!

FOOD ON THE ROAD BLOG (F-R-O-G) / "Five Guys Burgers and Fries"

2011-06-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

When on the road it's hard to find good food. It's hard because you don't know where the good restaurants are like locals do - from word of mouth, trial and error, etc. For instance I was in Montreal a couple weeks ago and my friend (a local food lover too) took me to this diner type place that I would've passed by and would think - just another run of the mill diner type place with mediocre food. But NOOOOOO! That place was exceptionally good but who would know? It was called "L'Ancedote" and I will blog about it next time I am there...

Which brings me to a place I went yesterday - "Five Guys". Our friends Leslie and Ed told us about a well known burger place, here in Outer Banks, North Carolina. They said it is very popular and really delicious. They were right and then some!!!
Like "L'Ancedote", it's a regular looking type place... well, with lots of cars in the parking lot (indication of good food).

It was very busy inside, with a big line up. I ordered a cheese burger and here's how you can tell it's a good quality place - you can have fresh additions on it like sauteed mushrooms, grilled onions, FRESH jalepenos, FRESH green peppers... you get the point their food is FRESH. Sounds like it should be a given but really, all it takes sometimes to stand out is fresh ingredients. Oh, and the toppings are FREE. FRESH and FREE!!!

It's more expensive than let's say, Burger King and you have to wait a bit longer (we waited about 10 mins after placing the order) but well worth the wait and the 5 or 6 extra dollars. It cost $18.00 for two of us to have a burger each and a generous portion of fries, a bottle of water and a soft drink.

I am kind of allergic to wheat so I only ate a couple bites with the bun (I know, lame) but honestly the burger itself is so good that you don't even miss the bun. I mean it. The bun almost gets in the way of how good the burger and toppings are. You can tell the quality of the meat is very good. It's tender and juicy.

The french fries are home cut and yummy. I recommend getting the small size because it's HUGE and enough to share for sure with someone else. I don't recommend getting cajun fries. The fries are so good that it gets in the way of enjoying the simple straight forward delicious-ness of them.

Simplicity is often the best. I LOVED Five Guys and am definately going back ... not next trip... today.

FOOD ON THE ROAD BLOG (F-R-O-G)

2011-06-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

We were on our way (me and the talented and fellow comic Julien Dionne) to the Outer Banks Comedy Club in North Carolina. It's a nine hour drive from NYC so we decided we would stop somewhere along the way and have a snack and a drink. We had just crossed this insanely long bridge (Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel) that feels like you are driving on top of the actual water. It's pretty cool. Anyway, we searched our GPS for nearby restaurants and ended up settling on the "Green Parrot Grille" on Lookout Drive in Virginia Beach. By the way, my gigs aren't always this awesome. Last month I was in Red Deer Alberta.

We decided to order some seafood because we were right by the water and when in Rome... We ordered Blackened Tuna Bites, (sorry the pic is fuzzy), Oysters Rockefeller and Blue Cheese Fries. The server recommended the tuna bites but either someone messed up in the kitchen or she has bad taste because they were gross. Fishy, well done when we asked for them rare. Yuck. You know when you're not only disappointed but also mad because you put something that disgusting in your mouth? Bleh. The server was very nice but when I asked her what seafood she recommended on the menu she said she couldn't help us with that because she doesn't like fish. REALLYYYYY!?!?!?! Either lie or ask someone else you respect (who likes seafood) to tell you - like another server or a regular customer or just tell us what's popular. If and when I own a restaurant I only would want servers who can sell the product properly. "Excuse me sir, which car do you recommend on the lot?" "Oh, I'd love to help you out, seeing as how I work here as a salesman but I ride the bus and don't like cars".

I wanted to try Oysters Rockefeller because I have seen it on menus before but never tried it. It's one of those old timey classics and I figured it would be a good place to try it. It was okay. Nothing amazing, nothing awful and DEFINATELY better than the tuna bites. But then again, so is poo on the ground. Maybe it's a bit of my fault because truthfully I feel weird biting into an oyster covered in stuff. I guess if I am going to eat an oyster I want to see it on the half shell or naked so I know what I am getting into.

The blue cheese fries were the best out of all the dishes but still were missing something. I sound very picky. I guess I am because I know how good food can be. Even simple stuff like blue cheese and fries. I felt that it was missing layers (I watch Master Chef). If I were making it, I would've put less blue cheese, added a few fresh chives and sprinkled a bit of fresh diced tomato on it. And maybe a bit of hot sauce for dipping on the side.

Having said all of this, the ambience was great. And my Bud Light Lime was only $2.25. All in all, I'd go back for sure. It's charming in there. The locals were really nice (we chatted with a couple guys having a smoke outside on our way out), and I have a feeling there's something on that menu that is very good. If the server liked food she might've been able to help us locate it.

Reading Pennsylvannia

2011-06-11T08:57:00.001-07:00

I am working a club this weekend in Reading PA. Never been here before. There's a weird conflicting vibe on the way into this town. You see stores advertising Amish furniture and then two seconds down the road there's a big sign saying they'll give you cash for your guns. Maybe that doesn't seem like a weird thing to the people of Pennsylvania but it is to me. A Canadian not used to the smaller nooks and crannies of the U.S. Amish furniture making congers up a visual to me of a wholesome, peaceful practice without the use of modern means (electricity). The gun, well, congers up shooting something. One is creating. The other is destroying. Anyway, maybe I am just reading into things too much but we also passed a town called "virginville". I betcha they have a lot of fathers with big guns there or it's just a big Amish community (with a lot of virgins making furniture trying to keep themselves busy so they don't have sex). ... I'll admit this is a weird blog but I kinda like it.

spring is awesome

2011-05-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

People have been complaining a lot lately about too much rain. It's spring. It rains a lot so we can have beautiful flowers and greenery. First of all, why do people forget that we get rain every year at the beginning of spring? Does "april showers bring May flowers" ring a bell? Ok, maybe it was more like most of May showers bring June flowers but still. Secondly, ... really? Do you have nothing else going on in your life to talk about other than the weather? Really? From now on when someone talks to me about the weather I am not going to respond. I am going to stare forward and yell something like " I like chicken". Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but maybe they will learn their lesson to not be lame and talk about the weather. OR at the very least, the next person they talk to will get to hear something more interesting than the weather- like how a girl screamed about her love of poultry for no reason at all. I'm paying it forward. You're welcome world.

forgive me internet

2011-05-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

... it's been over two weeks since my last blog.
Sometimes I just don't want to say anything. Sounds like a weird thing for a performer to say but I like to just not talk/write sometimes. I need to recharge. I wasn't always like that. When I was a kid you couldn't shut me up. No need for recharging. That's such a kid thing. I just stayed at my friend's place and her adorable toddler was hyper, talkative, inquisitive, wanting to close doors, open doors, attach this train to that truck and drag it around the living room... on and on and on... He never felt the need to stop and recharge. Instead, he pushed himself to the brink - to the point where he started nodding off while eating his macaroni at dinner time. Aw.
My point is silence is golden but discipline is important too. I will try to do better and write more...

small towns

2011-04-30T15:35:00.001-07:00

There is something to be said for small towns. I know people make fun of them because of rednecks and the fact that there's nothing to do... but... after living in New York for 3 years "nothing to do" sounds pretty nice to me. (Not the redneck part though.) In small towns nothing changes. In big cities, everything is changing all the time. In this crazy technological, busy rat-race of a world, it is REALLY nice to simplify things. Back to basics. Not too basic though. I like indoor plumbing and wifi in my nature. How else would I blog to everybody about things? Right, everybody?? Wouldn't you be lost without my observations of the world?

American Idol

2011-04-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

I hate to love American Idol. I don't want to like it ... but I do! Although I am embarassed about being a fan I have to say it's the coolest year. When I first heard that Steven Tyler was going to be a judge I immediately judged him for selling out as a rocker BUT he has not sold out. I now realize that selling out means to change who you are in order to make money and he hasn't done that. He is still himself - saying the "F" word, laying back, foot up on the table, saying inappropriate things. I love it. I always wondered why I felt crappy after comedy competitions or auditions where I did material and acted a certain way because I was imagining what "they" wanted - and of course ended up not doing well - because I wasn't myself. That's all. So, now if you don't like me, just remember you really don't like ME!!!

The Biggest Loser

2011-04-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the biggest loser tv show. I almost wish I was overweight so that I could go on that show and change my life that dramatically. Its exciting!!! ... (Just kidding universe) ...

There's something to be said for going from completely self destructive to fully functioning human. I want to make changes in my life but they're such minor changes compared to reality shows like that.
If I had a tv show it would be so boring. Join us next week when Jen stops eating carbs after 10pm and finally returns those emails she's been meaning to return.

2011-03-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there's nothing to write about. I've heard that if you have nothing to write, write about the fact that you have nothing to write about... Hmmm... Ok, so, here goes ... having nothing to write can be a good thing cuz that probably means things are going ok. Or maybe the person who has nothing to say is trying to not complain. Probably the latter is true. But I dont want to sound cynical. Have a good day everyone. ;/ ( cynical " happy" face).

board games

2011-03-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

I played board games with my family tonight. The name of the game in Monopoly is to be ruthless. So, when my niece bought Parkplace and Boardwalk I gave her a time out. Maybe not "right" or "ethical" but ruthless, right?

my mom's a trooper

2011-03-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

My mom just had surgery and you wouldn't even know it. Granted, it was day surgery but she was still put under anesthetic and her skin was CUT OPEN. Right after the surgery she was in great spirits (mind you she was on morphine) but really, I kept forgetting she even got operated on because she did not complain ONCE. If that happened to me EVERYONE would know about it. I guess when you have brought up three kids anything seems easier in comparison. I don't have kids. Don't want to. Maybe I'll always be a baby myself.

noise pollution

2011-02-25T08:03:00.000-08:00

It's hard to get errands done, go for a walk, enjoy a coffee in public without hearing the incessant chatter of an obnoxious blue tooth user. It seems like some people think if they're talking on their cell that noone can hear them. It's amazing to me that people will talk about extremely personal stuff ... and at volume 10... to boot! I just learned all about someone's forclosure of their home, their impending divorce and how their gout is acting up again. I guess the silver lining here is that I feel a whole lot better about my life now. I'm just quiet about it.

Indirect compliment

2011-02-03T14:44:00.000-08:00

If you're going to compliment me just do it without anything else added to it that takes away from the compliment. ie. Two girls come up to me after a show and say - "we had to come up to you and tell you that we thought you were hilarious (compliment) ... and we don't think women are funny (insult). The compliment doesn't count because it's coming from a sexist ignorant person. . . I should've said you know I really liked the crowd tonight. I disagree with the other comics when they called you guys stupid. Should've is the operative word. The other girl - "yeah, it's true! So much so that I even texted my friend to tell her that I loved your jokes" (rude again). Texting during any live performance is extremely rude. But a lot of people don't seem to care about that. Texting while driving is dangerous and kills lives. But texting at a comedy show kills dreams.

Christmas 2

2011-01-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

I know it`s already well into January and I should be over it by now. But, we are having a Christmas 2 celebration tonight. I was hanging out with some friends back in the first week of January and we were all bumbed out about the holidays being over. I know sounds super nerdy. So?
Anyway, we`re going to listen to Christmas music, eat more than normal, play board games, probably drink alcohol (yes, on a Wednesday) and try to pretend it`s not January. And in February we are going to do a pre-Halloween celebration. Just kidding, we`re not that weird. It`ll be in June - because that`s closer to October.

January

2011-01-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

There should be a slightly less major exciting holiday in January to ease us into regular life. And then even slightly less major holiday in February... and so on and so on. Like a Christmas cooldown of sorts - you don't run at a 8.0 on the treadmill for a half hour and then stop it suddenly to zero and go on with your day. We need a holiday cooldown from Christmas. It's too depressing to go from - parties, gifts, day drinking to ... resolutions, quit this, quit that, go to the gym. I need to baby step my way out of the holidays. Is it a coincidence that I am right now procrastinating my workout? Probably not...

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-26T12:25:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone is having a very merry Christmas. I like "Merry Christmas". It's old school. Nowadays society is so careful to be ambiguous - "Happy Holidays", "Seasons Greetings". Or there are those scrooges - " I don't believe in Christmas, I don't give gifts, I don't believe in it, I just hang a garland on the bannister and do yoga." Ok, good for you. Namaste then.
Anyway, hope everyone is having a VERY VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Going back to Hali, Hali, Hali

2010-12-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hi,
I'm back in Hali (Halifax Nova Scotia). Forgive me blog readers, it's been ten days since my last entry (the Catholics will get that). They might not think it's funny but they'll get it. Maybe non-Catholics will get it too. Not sure. Either way, one thing is for sure, it's definitely a lame, corny joke. Wow. I am being very hard on myself. (Also, a very Catholic trait). I am not a practicing Catholic. Anyway, didn't know I was going to end up going in the Catholic direction in this blog but it makes sense in a way because I was feeling guilty about not doing my blog sooner.
The point is, I am in Halifax doing shows. It's fun. I LOVE Maritimers. Fun, easy going, drinking... all good things. Some get too drunk though. Last night there was a guy in the front row who will not remember one bit of the show today. Soooo wasted. Blathering on and on about nonsense. It was a small audience so it was extra awkward. His wife wasn't much better. Well, at least they have each other in their embarassing alcoholism.

level 2... continued... one hour later...

2010-12-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, just finished LEVEL 2 and I have bad news... I didn't make it.
But, Jen, how are you writing this blog entry then?
Just kidding blog readers, I am alive. And better than ever! Yay!
It was definately hard and I definately sweat more in level two than level one EVER so that feels good. Oh my God, how fit am I going to be? It's kind of scary to think about how shredded I will be.

level 2

2010-12-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

I have completed 30 days of the 30 day shred, level 1. Not in a row. I missed some days here and there - travel days, sick with a cold, etc. Don't be so judgemental about the days I took off. Geez.
So, now I am moving on to level 2 today. I'm scared. It looks really hard. Will report later about it ... if I make it. Like, if I am still living. It might kill me.

go with the flow

2010-11-25T11:44:00.000-08:00

I was driving 12 hours from Ottawa to New Brunswick and there was a snow storm about 8 hours into the drive. It was dark, we had summer tires on the car... so, it was really safe. I REALLY just wanted to get to our destination but was forced to get a hotel room in the middle of nowhere. Annoying at first but turned out to be a really fun, odd night in a cabin type hotel. What I'm trying to say is, when life hands you a snow storm with bald summer tires, turn it into a beer drinking fun time in a weird cabin in a random town.

from Queens to the country...

2010-11-17T09:06:00.000-08:00

I am staying in a little village in Canada. It's so peaceful here. I woke up in Queens, NY yesterday. Woke up in, what seems to be, an opposite universe today. I am constantly traveling to the point that I don't know where I am half the time. It's weird to me that so many people don't leave their home, work, town much at all. But I'm sure they think I'm weird too. But maybe it's because of other weird things I do and not just cuz I travel. I'd tell you but then you'd think I was weird too.

22nd day...

2010-11-10T15:36:00.001-08:00

So, today I did Jillian Michael's 30 day shred for the 22nd time. Not consecutively but almost. I think I've missed like six days in 28 days. Not bad. Anyway, I've really noticed a difference! It's an intense workout that is effective. I haven't lost pounds per se but I have definately lost inches. I am well on my way to shredded!! Mostly it feels good to be more compact. What I've got is not loosey goosey. It's funny because people act all impressed when someone is in shape when really, that's probably how we're supposed to be. Active. Using our body instead of abusing it. Uh-oh, I'm starting to sound like one of those annoying health nut who used to party but now only drinks club soda and talks incessantly at parties about how healthy avocados and marathons are. BORING. I promise I won't become that. Gotta run and make my hemp milk...

proscrastination

2010-11-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

It's crazy how I can put things off. I can literally waste an entire day. If you asked me what I did yesterday - go ahead - ask me. The answer would be... I honestly don't know. Oh, that's not true, I deleted things off the dvr (pvr for all you Canadians reading this), I went out for a happy hour drink(s), bought toilet paper and butter. Wait a second, I'm being hard on myself. I worked out. That's good and productive. Which brings me to now. I am about to work out. I have my workout clothes on, runners, I've got the perfect amount of caffeine in me. I am ready. And what am I doing? Blogging. How many calories do you burn blogging? I should mention I am standing up, squatting, on an exercise ball...

Long drives

2010-10-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

I left my place yesterday at 4:23am and arrived at my destination at 7:00pm!!! I had to stop twice to recline my seat and close my eyes in random parking lots(classy). Two things I learned from that long a drive - 1) Thank God for Red Bull and 2) podcasts are key. Oh and... 3) you start to go crazy after a while. It's like getting off a treadmill. I still felt like I was driving when I arrived and I wasn't even driving anymore. It really is a mind game. Anyway, I did it!
In terms of the 30 day shred (see last blog) - I have done it 7 times and it is intense! I like it because it's only 20 minutes. I can handle almost anything for 20 minutes. Especially now that I've driven 15 hours. I'm invincible!!! And I feel like it's working. I'm not totally shredded yet but I've got a partial shred going on. Don't want to brag...

about a month ago...

2010-10-14T16:46:00.000-07:00

So, five weeks ago I wrote in my blog that I might do the "30 day shred" dvd by Jillian Michaels and maybe blog about it. Then, I discovered about a hundred other people already had the same idea on youtube. Mind you, I wasn't planning on videotaping myself in my bra and underwear for a "before" visual. I'm not that "committed". I am really overusing the quotation marks. . . So, I am not going to be like others and blog about it but I did try the level ONE of the dvd today. And oh my God. It's HARD. And that's just level one. Like, it's hard if you push yourself like she urges you to do in the dvd. She is very pursuasive. I can see why she got the job on the Biggest Loser. If she was your trainer you would have to do what she said or else...Or else, what? I don't know, quit and have a pizza I guess.

wheat free, vegan, lactose intolerance

2010-10-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

I made dinner last night for about twelve people. One person was a vegetarian, two people hate vegetarian food, one person could not eat wheat, and another could not eat dairy. Phew. Very difficult to please everybody. So I didn't. I made what I wanted and made everyone deal with it. I am not exactly Martha Stewart but I'm also not an ex convict. Soooo... noone is perfect.

LAZY

2010-09-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

I am trying not to be so lazy but it's hard. You know you're really really lazy when just THE EFFORT to try to be less lazy is too difficult.
It's nice to watch a show like "Intervention" when you feel lazy. I might be a little lazy but I'm not smoking meth. It's always good when "at least I'm not doing meth is the consolation". I don't know if "consolation" was the right word in that context but I'm too lazy to check in the on-line dictionary.

grass is always greener

2010-09-20T00:32:00.000-07:00

It's a bad idea to compare yourself to others. It's not healthy but it's hard not to. (Unless of course, you are an enlightened Buddhist Monk. And I'm sure, even they sometimes must think - I am a way better meditator than Brad.)
Comparing yourself to others is a way to gage how you are doing. There would be no "winners". We would not have "track and field races", we would have "fun-running-for-no-reason-but-to-enjoy-life-times things". We wouldn't have the olympics, arm wrestling in pubs, or even innocent pie eating contest.
I guess you don't feel the urge as much to compare myself to others when things are going really well but when they are mediocre, it's hard not to. Things are going great for me but still, right now, I'm wondering if this blog is better than others.

it's all been done

2010-09-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

So, last Thursday I wrote in my blog that I may want to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels and maybe blog about it. I still haven't bought the dvd but in the meantime have been checking out her website and info about the dvd. ie. do I need weights, etc. Anyway, in my research I ended up on youtube where I found women reviewing the 30 day shred! Are you kidding me? I should keep good ideas to myself...
How did those women read my blog and within 5 days already start a video reviewing the dvd? There's no way anyone else had that idea. Right?
It is handy that we have so much information, in 2010, at our fingertips as consumers to research but, really, I don't know if I would call a home video of a vacant, 19 year old in her bathroom talking about how she's obsessed with the two pounds overweight she is and how her parents won't give her enough space a - "reviewer".

thinking about doing the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels

2010-09-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

I am always on the road and think it's silly to have a gym membership because I am never home to use it. I've heard that you're not supposed to say such things on line (ie. twitter, facebook status or blogging) because criminals will know you're not home and break in but I'm not worried about that because I have a very tough roomate who never leaves the apartment so...
So, anyway, I am thinking of doing the 30 day shred video by Jillian Michaels. I've heard REALLY good things about it. Maybe I'll even blog about it as I do it. Hmmm...

Galaffair was a hit!

2010-09-01T12:14:00.001-07:00

Erica Sigurdson (www.ericasigurdson.com) and I had our event on Sunday and it was successful beyond my expections! So much fun and totally sold out. We are incorporating women's love of shopping, drinking, laughing, and bonding with girlfriends. We are all so busy these days - especially those with children - that we figured we'd provide an entertaining night of multitasking. It's hard to justify a night out unless you are checking off a few things that are on your to do list. Right?
So, Galaffair... laughing and having fun. CHECK! Bonding over cocktails with girlfriends. CHECK! Shop for things you can't always see at the mall, that are local, and support women in business. CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!!!

Eat, Drink, Laugh

2010-08-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

Are you in Vancouver on Sunday August 29th? From 6pm-9pm? And want to have fun? Then you should come out to a pub called "Sawbucks" in White Rock, BC (just outside Vancouver). It's a unique night of entertainment. It's like a farmer's market meets a girls night out meets a hilarious comedy show! It's like taking your martini to the mall while having some laughs with your girlfriends. It's like... ok, that's enough with the analogies. Erica Sigurdson (funny comic - check her out - www.ericasigurdson.com) have partnered up to create "Galaffair" (www.galaffair.com). There will be local vendors there presenting their products, free give aways, samples, stand up comedy. FUN!!!
We want to support local business women, create a place people can go to be entertained while shopping and laughing. It almost sounds like too much fun.
Men are welcome too!

Niagara Falls

2010-08-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

I performed in Niagara Falls this past weekend. I have to say the actual Falls themselves are very beautiful ... BUT everything surrounding them is tacky. I imagine the reason it's like that is because tourists come with families and look at the falls and then go, nice but what now? ...a wax museum, a perkins restaurant and a casino that's what! Because when I think of natural wonders I think - gambling, ridiculous wax replicas and corporate restaurants.

my happy friend

2010-08-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

I have a joke about my happy friend. How I've known her 11 years and she is consistently happy no matter what. I am staying at her place while in Toronto and when I asked her for the code to get on her wifi, she said it was - "dreaminess". I'm not kidding. I tried it. It didn't work. So, she said, oops. Try "squiggle". It worked. I am hoping some of the energy in her apartment will rub off on me and I will be unrelenting in my joy, like her. Then, instead of me worrying about the oil spill, like her, my biggest worry will be whether Taylor Swift will have as many hits in 2010 as she did in 2009.

haha...

2010-08-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

So, about a week ago I blogged about how I want people to comment on my blogs, then, I wrote a blog after that, accidentally changed the setting where it does not give the option to comment. Silly me. So, I just changed it. Comment away!

Sister is married!

2010-08-06T13:16:00.001-07:00

So excited and happy for my sister who got married on Sunday! It was really fun and I was very nervous to be a bridesmaid. There was no maid of honor per se but there was only one bridesmaid who was related through blood so you do the math.
Everyone was pumping me up when it came to speech time because I am a comedian and they didn't want to follow me but that's silly. I have done some crazy high pressure shows but speaking about my sister getting married was really nerve racking. It went ok. Maybe the sambuca shot helped right before.
Congrats Mellie!
and p.s. loved the comments I got on the last blog post. Keep 'em coming!

sister is married!

2010-08-04T08:45:00.001-07:00

if a girl blogs on the internet does anybody hear?

2010-07-26T07:28:00.001-07:00

I encourage comments from people who read my blogs in case anyone was wondering. hint hint nudge nudge...

When there's no comments it feels as if I am talking to an imaginary friend or talking to myself. Maybe I will start commenting on my own blogs. This is what I would say to me - "blog more regularly, please." or "you call this a blog? you're talking about blogging in your blog." or "you are insecure and shouldn't need feedback when being creative"... (these are just jokes, I don't want others to be this critical and mean, just me. ha. )
I know people read them because I will run into people who know things about my life and I know I haven't told them because I haven't seen them for a long time. I definately know I haven't told them in certain cases where they are total strangers and they know I had injured myself in the past or think slugs are weird.

Anyway, if anyone out there wants to comment on my blog, I wouldn't dislike it... I'm just saying...

bruises

2010-07-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have a GIANT bruise on my left arm. Like disturbingly BIG and BLACK. So much so that people feel compelled to ask about it with a very concerned look on their face. I have had to write material about it because it's so distracting on stage I have to address it. My bruise is like the former president of the U.S.A. Like him, when it is gone I can't do material about it anymore. I think I might have to buy some black and blue makeup and pretend.

nicknames

2010-07-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

I know I don't have any say about what my nickname is but ... what if I don't like "Tits McGee"? Out of the blue my friend started calling me that and it's caught on. My other friends are calling me Tits McGee. I don't think I look like a Tits McGee. So, now when people are like, Tits McGee is here! I try to act like what that name is. And it's ridiculous and kinda like what you'd imagine on Gerry Springer. Ridiculous.

Ridiculously hot

2010-07-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

New York is so hot right now... how hot is it???
The cockroaches aren't even trying to run away. They're like, whatever.
Yeah, that's a joke but sadly, true. New York is gross when it's hot. It's like walking in a giant oven filled with germs, litter, city juice, and general stinkyness. Gross.

North Carolina

2010-06-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am in a place called "Kill Devil Hills" North Carolina. It's really beautiful here. I am staying in a big, beautiful house directly on the water. We just put some "bait" in three cages and are waiting for crab to go in there so we can eat them. When I say "we", I mean that I took pictures while others cut the fish (bait) and put it in the cages. I'm going to try to post the pics on my blog later... I know you're all waiting with "baited" breath. I am always on. I can't help it. Look on the bright side, I could've made an easy joke about catching crabs and I didn't so ...

like riding a biclycle?. literally?

2010-06-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't worked out since my injury a couple months ago. Well, it's been two and a half months but who's counting? My love handles are counting, that's who. Yikes. For the last five years I have been a consistent 3 to 4 times a week worker-outer so it's been weird, (kind of nice) to not be going to the gym. I don't think I've gained weight but I just feel not as muscle-y. So, I have my work out clothes on right now and have been big time putting it off today. Gotta go guys. Gotta work out. Right after I reorganize my cutlery drawer. . .

slugs are weird

2010-06-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why or how slugs have survived as a "species" or as a whatever they are. They have nothing going for them. They are slimy, super slow, while out in the open. I would understand if you're super slow in the shadows and camouflage with the what hides you but slugs camouflage to the road or earth where everyone walks so even for the most aware, sensitive people who want to NOT step on them and kill them, we do! Oh, slugs. Seriously? The next time I'm sluggish, step on me.

snoop dog

2010-06-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

I saw Snoop Dogg (the rapper for those of you not cool like me) on the "The Hour" with George Strompol.... Anyway, I was really impressed with him at first because he was really grounded, seemed like he was a good father and kept mentioning how he is trying to better himself. I think that's great from one human to another human but when I think of Snoop Dog THE RAPPER I think of his song "Gin and Juice" not PTA meetings and personal development. Yes, I think it's important for him to be a good role model for other men being good fathers and respecting women etc etc but it doesn't seem to fit with the image. . . It's kinda like Snoop is playing dress up and make believe all this time. I don't think he's Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice at all. I think he's driving his mini van, (maybe still once in a while smokin) and sippin on a latte with no gin in it.
... what's "indo" by the way?

inappropriate

2010-05-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

I spent a month in Canada and then came back to NYC. It's always a big transition. I always forget how intense New York is. Everything you can imagine happens in New York. Tiny example - I saw a homeless man using a baby stroller to carry around his bottles and belongings. That just seems wrong. I think he misunderstood urban vernacular. It's a crib that is supposed to house all your stuff not a stroller. Silly hobo.

texting

2010-05-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

Last night there was a lady in the audience who was sitting at the front and texted the entire show. In the front! Why did she go and see a show? And some people say that they can't turn off their phone in case they get an emergency phone call because of their job or they have little kids or something. But, come on, I don't know any kind of emergency in which the solution is 90 minutes of texting. Is a mother texting - "don't run with those sizzors! ... I said... stop running with those... that's it, I'm going to count to ten. Just wait, gotta change from T9 word to numbers...

return policy

2010-05-19T05:34:00.000-07:00

Going today to return a tank top and a cardigan. Don't worry Old Navy, I have a receipt! ... I'm really good at returning. I get it from my mom. She is the queen returner. She buys things with the philosophy - "Well, I can always return it". So, needless to say, she buys A LOT. She even returns pets... "Well, I didn't know they would shed and sometimes puke"... You didn't??? My friend said to me - aren't you glad you were a final sale? "Well, I didn't know it would spit up and eventually make weird career choices like stand up comedy" haha. even with a receipt you can't return me!!

friends from high school

2010-05-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

All my friends have little kids. I don't have any kids. I had dinner with a few of them the other night. They asked me how I was and I said "tired". They said "YOU'RE TIRED?!?!?!?!?!".I guess you're not allowed to be tired if you don't have kids. I could be a heart surgeon working double shifts for a week and if I am child-less I am not allowed to be tired...Granted, my fatigue is from socializing, drinking and telling jokes but... I'm still a bit tired. Is that ok everybody?

hanging out with kids

2010-05-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

I love my nieces and nephews to death. LOVE them!! Kids bring so much joy into your life but they also remind me of how I am not a kid anymore... My mom is moving so her table is no longer here and we played crazy eights on the floor. I couldn't bend my leg because of my "inherently loose knee caps" (see earlier blog entry) and my back was killing me. I looked at them (11 years old and 12 years old) and they are lying on their stomach without a care in the world. So limbre and flexible. I had to make a box into a table and sit in a chair. And on top of it all they both beat me at Crazy Eights. I really can't win.

Inherently loose knee caps

2010-04-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

I dislocated my knee a couple weeks ago and just saw a specialist the other day and found out that I have "inherently loose knee caps". Weird. So, I have to build up the muscle in my legs and wear a knee brace if I play sports. The only "sports" I usually play involves a stairmaster so I don't know if that includes that. All I know is that if I get "weak in the knees" it doesn't necessarily mean I am being swooned, it just means I have "inherently weak knee caps". I guess it could be worse. I could have inherently weak ... punchline here.

quiet time...

2010-04-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... It's the BEST when it's totally quiet. I've been home in Ottawa for a week now and I've been chaotically busy with family stuff. So, today I am doing NOTHING. I'm staying in Wakefield, Quebec where it is so quiet you can hear the crickets at night. You know it's quiet and rural when you can hear crickets. I don't hear crickets in Queens,NY. It's weird how the sound of a cricket is relaxing but the sound of a cockroach scurrying across the floor is terrifying. Both bugs. Both making sounds. One nice. The other disgusting. Sorry about your luck cockroach. But I guess your retribution is that you will be only thing that survives after a nuclear war. You will literally be the last one laughing.

Ahhh. Back in Canada. My home and Native land...

2010-04-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

People are so nice in Canada. I went to Shoppers Drug Mart today and the lady smiled a lot and genuinely seemed to want to help me. I don't know what the motivation is. Is it the fear of getting fired? Or is it that there's time to be nice whereas in NY everyone is in a hurry and there's no time for niceties(sp?). Cuz customer service in New York is NOT friendly. It almost seems like they are mad at you for even shopping. Luckily, like a good Canadian, I am addicted to saying sorry so I just apologize for buying my groceries and leave.

new prop

2010-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

I did a gig last night in Stratford CT. About a week ago I injured my knee. So, someone told me to use a cane. I'd use crutches but a cane??? There's something creepy about a cane. But, what if it's the "hook" I need in my career? What if it takes off? ... (imaginary conversation) ..."have you seen the lady with a cane? she's one of the hottest rising stars. She's almost as good as the guy with the walker."

Welcome to my brand new Website!!!

2010-04-15T21:37:00.001-07:00

Very exciting! Brand new website! I love it. Don't you? ...If anyone is interested, my web design guy offers a good price and is really creative - www.juliendionne.com

New website coming soon...

2010-04-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

I have a new website in the works right now. That's why the dates on my schedule are not current. I should have something up and running in a couple of days. Maybe even tomorrow. Woo hoo.

sick...

2010-04-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. . .
I have a cold. I believe in resting completely while you have a cold. I've literally done nothing all day but watch tv, lie around, eat and talk on the phone. It's been great. I should really do this sometime when I'm feeling healthy.

personal hygiene on the train...

2010-03-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

I was on the subway and a lady was clipping her fingernails. Gross. There's something about the sound of nail clipping that is so gross and off-putting. I wouldn't like it if someone was cutting their nails and it had no noise but the clip noise makes it way worse. You're not going to go to a spa and hear the sound of toe nail clippers as you get a massage - even if it's a foot massage, it's inappropriate.
Anyway, mostly it bothered me because it was disrupting me while I was using my ped-egg. Joking of course. I was waxing my armpits... on and on with jokes about inappropriate hygiene activities in public.

Oh Syracuse, Oh Syracuse...

2010-03-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

I am in Syracuse this weekend working at Wiseguys Comedy Club. I am amazed at how much of a Canadian vibe there is here. It's crazy. I wasn't prepared for it. I walked into the bar area of the club and saw the bartender feverishly stocking the fridge with Labatts Blue so they will have enough for the night. It's the most popular beer here?!?! I spent the rest of the night having conversations about the Barenaked Ladies, the Tragically Hip, one girl actually asked me who my favourite Kids in the Hall was. My favourite Kids in the Hall??? WTF?... it's Bruce Mcculloch by the way.

roomates

2010-02-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

It is ridiculously hard to live with people. It's hard enough to live with family and I love my family. If you are not in college, there is no good reason to be an adult and live with roomates. I don't want to have another "conversation" about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper or dish soap. I don't want to see another hair in the bathtub that is jet black and clearly not mine. I don't want to hide in my room because I know "she's" in the kitchen. I wish I was a happy go lucky person but I'm not. Things get to me. I just may have to go into her crisper and spit on her asparagus.

HUB CAP COMEDY FESTIVAL

2010-02-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

I am in New Brunswick this week for the Hub Cap Comedy Festival. It's gonna be fun!!
I came here early, staying in a cottage just outside Moncton in the woods. There was a giant snowfall yesterday and today there is a thick coating of snow on the branches. BEAUTIFUL!!!
I realized something yesterday as I sat in Church, pretending to understand the french priest, this area is not like anywhere else I've ever been. No one is jaded. Everyone seems to be so trusting, kind, friendly. The bigger the city the more rules, non trusting... SOOOOOOOOO different from New York City!!! People REALLY do leave their doors unlocked here, don't worry about watching their purse every second, I haven't seen one person applying purel... There's something to be said for small towns.

New York, New York

2010-01-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the movie Julie and Julia, I started thinking of ideas for my blog. I would like to maybe explore the Proust Questionnaire like my good friend suggested... I was also thinking that I could choose a New York activity - like walking across the Brooklyn bridge OR going to Rockefeller Center OR the Empire State Building each week and writing about it. I've been here for over a year but haven't seen as much of the city as I wanted to. I probably won't live here forever so I should try to see as much as I can while I am here. So, when I come back from New Brunswick I think I am going to do the New York activity blog once a week. Any requests? Yvonne?
Jen.

bikrams yoga is insane

2010-01-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

I did the hot yoga again today and I am still recovering hours later. So so so unbelievably tired, red cheeked and feel a little like I've been ... well, severely exerting myself in a room that is 105 degrees for almost two hours. I have never sweat that much in my entire life. NEVER. You know you're sweating a lot when your forearms are sweating... I know, attractive. I had big plans to go see a comedy show in the lower east side tonight and maybe even have a couple of beers at the show... but it DID NOT HAPPEN. There was no way. Bikrams yoga is a path to wellness because you don't have the energy to do anything fun (toxic) for the rest of the day.
Namaste.

hot yoga

2010-01-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

I went to Bikrams Yoga today. It's an hour and a half of yoga poses in a room that is 105 degrees fahrenheit!! I've had a bad lower back for a while now - so much so that when I sneeze, I have to brace myself. Scary. Anyway, I've only gone twice and it is already making my back feel better!! Crazy what a lot of hot stretching will do. The only complaint I have is to the man who was in front of me the whole class - is it not bad enough you wore a speedo to class and nothing else? Would it kill you to wear a tank top to cover your b-acne (back acne)?
I know yoga is supposed to be spiritual and kind and not superficial but come on buddy...

I got a couple early Christmas presents!

2009-12-22T10:04:00.000-08:00

You know you're a grown up when you get a juicer and bed sheets for Christmas. . . and you're excited about it. I'm at a point where I'm excited about things like slippers! It's true. I'm almost at a point where I'm almost bringing them over to people's houses. Seriously.
JG

live not in fear...

2009-12-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

...but in possibility!!
That is a new revelation of mine. I realized that my predisposition is wired in a way that if someone tells me something I will go to the worst case scenario right away and then after I will see the possibility of it turning out to be good. Maybe even great. I guess that's just another way of seeing the glass half full or half empty. Is that just a condition of being an adult? Because as a kid, I would look at a mountain and think - wow, I would love to climb it and slide down it. As an adult, I'd look at that same mountain and think, that would be a challenge to climb but it would be a good workout... and how would I get down?

comedy gap

2009-12-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

Did a show last night for a conservative, older, non drinking crowd. It was weird. I started doing 7 minutes of jokes about beer, vodka and drinking in general and slowly noticed that NO ONE was drinking. Like NO ONE! Weird. And then I did a facebook joke and it looked like they had no idea what I was talking about. So, I am guessing that I inadvertently performed for a group of Amish disguised as insurance workers.

lazzzzy day

2009-12-17T12:38:00.000-08:00

Today is a very lazy day for me. I went to bed late last night. Got up at 10:00am. Was up for about two minutes. Went to sleep again until noon! I can't help but think of my friends who have kids, jobs early in the morning, houses that need to be taken care of, driveways that need to be shoveled... I have no kids, a job that starts at 9pm, an apartment with a deck I don't have to shovel...People find it really weird that I don't plan on having kids. They say - what if you don't ever have kids and you're old and alone with no one to take care of you? Oh yeah, that's the right reason to have a kid - "Hi, child of mine, the only reason you're here is to take care of me when I'm old. No pressure and good luck if you have any dreams." And what if I end up with a bad kid? They exist. I've met awesome parents who have bad kids. A bad kid can't take care of you from prison. Anyway, on that cheery note, Merry Christmas everyone.

I'm a big wuss

2009-12-16T10:53:00.000-08:00

Got the flu shot yesterday. Oh my God, my arm hurt like crazy last night!! It made me realize what a baby I am. I was in incredible pain from the FLU SHOT!!! God, what if I actually got SHOT? Like for real shot? The flu shot is the thing you take to avoid getting the bad thing. It's not even the bad thing. That's like putting on a bullet proof vest and crying, taking cold FX and cringing, putting on knee pads before rollerblading and curling up in the fetal position.
JG

this place is too much

2009-12-15T17:51:00.000-08:00

Being in a small town is like being on another planet. When I'm on the road I go to a lot of small towns but I'm in and out and staying in hotels, not getting the real, down home experience. It is so unbelievably friendly, and sweet. When you're not used to it, it throws you back a bit but now I'm getting used to it. I am going to bring this small town nice-ness to New York. Even if people think I'm mentally unstable... Cuz they will.

haven't been to the gym but...

2009-12-14T14:10:00.000-08:00

went cross country skiing outside today! It was great. Worked up a sweat, got fresh air. But, you know what's funny? I felt slightly weird being in the middle of the woods. It's because I rarely go into nature that hard core. It's funny how I'm more comfortable working out in a place where you run, step or bike on machines...

I love sleeping

2009-12-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

I love sleeping. I am soooo tired today too. I love sleeping and I hate alarm clocks. I hate it when they go off. It's always an annoying sound too. AAAA!!! AAAA!!! So, I've tried to change the sound of my alarm to a different tune to make it less annoying but they are all annoying. I realized that any sound would annoy me because it's interrupting beautiful sleep. It could be the most soothing voice - like Barry White, with a waterfall in the background and it wouldn't matter.

Jen Grant vs. Jenn Grant

2009-12-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

There's a Jenn Grant who lives in Halifax, who is a very successful singer/songwriter. She is award winning as a matter of fact! And that's all good and fine but I would like her to stop being so ambitious and successful because everytime I google my name (yes, I google my own name. So?) SHE comes up. JenN Grant! And we sorta look alike..

So Christmas-ey

2009-12-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

I am staying in the woods in a beautiful little cottage in New Brunswick. Soooo awesome. Today I had a potential opportunity to go out into the woods to cut down a Christmas tree! I couldn't go but thought there is nothing more Christmas-ey than that. Well, that, or dragging a big dusty box out from the basement, pulling out a plastic "tree" and spraying fake snow on it (unnecessary burn to my next door neighbour in Queens, NY) .
JG

Off to Halifax

2009-12-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

So relaxed there's not much to blog about.
That's probably really good, right? I am leaving momentarily to drive to Halifax to do some shows this weekend at Yuk Yuks. This is my first time working a full weekend at the club there. I have played there before with the Halifax Comedy Festival but never just on its own. Looking forward to it.
I'm afraid I'm too relaxed...Gotta wake up and be funny.
JG

Got all my errands done except...

2009-12-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

the gym!
I love going to the gym and go a lot... unless my momentum stops. Like, if I go on the road. Routines are boring but at least you end up doing the stuff you're supposed to do. Momentum is everything... in addition to crunches, lunges, squats and cardio.
Now my momentum is sleep late, nap if sleepy, and blog of course! Non stop blogger...

yahoo!

2009-12-08T11:34:00.000-08:00

After two days of cancelled flights, I am finally off The Rock!!
I liked it in Newfoundland but soooo happy to be back, just outside of Moncton New Brunswick, at the lovely, peaceful, relaxing, zen cottage in the middle of the woods. The trees are COVERED in thick snow. It's beautiful!!

I am realizing how important it is to be around people, places and things that make you feel good. Spending time with toxic people sucks the life right out of you. With every -"the world is against me" and "that guy is a jerk" and "screw life"... I felt a page out my journal rip out, an affirmation turn into a negation and a little tear roll down the faces of all motivational speakers everywhere. The next time someone is like that around me, i am not going to endure their angry monologue of hate. I am going to just silently walk away. That might seem rude but so is undoing all of my yoga, meditating and vegan eating.

Keg sized Bloody ceasar at Boston Pizza

2009-12-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I asked for a Keg sized ceasar at Boston Pizza. The waitress said " do you know that you aren't at the Keg?" oops. I guess I was secretly wishing we were at the Keg. Awkward.
So, still snowed in in St. John's. I feel a little of what it would be liked to be a caged animal. A little. I know I get to leave tomorrow so that's why I say a little. We shouldn't cage animals unless it's absolutely necessary. That woman who got attacked by a chimp was on Oprah and I was warned not to watch it because it was so horrific and I am sensitive... Some woman in Connecticut was mauled by a chimp. When wild animals attack people the headlines always seem to be from the angle of being shocked it happened. They are WILD animals. One headline I read was "Gorilla Gone Crazy". That's not crazy. That's what gorillas do. It would've been crazy if it had escaped and was "cordial" - hello, how are you? Are you enjoying the zoo, nice day we're having! ... There's a reason it's called "going ape shit". I understand why gorillas get upset being trapped. I have wanted to go ape shit a couple times at Christmas trapped with my family. Just kidding. Exaggerating. I love my family. Sorry. I am not myself. If I can't get out of this condo soon, I might go apeshit.

snowed in in St. John's

2009-12-06T14:14:00.001-08:00

Flight was cancelled this afternoon... Major snow storm and trapped in the comedy condo in St. John's.
Just watched the movie "Perfect Storm" on tv while the winds are howling outside and flurries blowing around. I have never related to George Clooney so much.
I managed to avoid getting screeched in but now...am snowed in! It's like the screech Gods are getting me. Newfie karma is a bitch b'ye.